Sunday, October 26, 2014

I need a moment.

This is probably one of the hardest blogs I've ever had to write. No, I know it is. I don't do well talking about my personal life, but I think I need to for a moment.

I write. A lot. In the past twelve months, I've released eight books. That's a lot of writing, editing, promoting, and stress. Deadlines creep up and give me a heart attack constantly. Like right now - I have two due at the end of this month. It's the 26th.... I think I overbooked myself, but I'm definitely trying to keep up with them.

My husband, my mom, and my friends constantly tell me to slow down. (I'm giving Tijan and Sophie Monroe the stink eye right now especially.)

The problem? I can't. I need to write. I need to publish. I need to keep up because I'm absolutely terrified that if I step away, my readers might forget me. And that's understandable. There are new authors emerging daily, some quickly replacing old favorites. The book world is a really hard place to be, because sometimes, you feel like you're drowning. You want to stand out. You want your readers to absolutely love everything you write (even though we all know that's impossible.)

I had a really rude wake up call last night. A painful one. When I'm stressed or in writing mode, I don't sleep much, maybe three hours a day if that. I also forget to eat. I'll go well over twenty-four hours on nothing more than a cup of yogurt.

Healthy? Most definitely not.

It seems that I forget to take care of myself most days. It caught up with me once before, last November, when I ended up in an urgent care with stomach cramps so painful that I was sure I was dying. Luckily, I wasn't (obviously) and we were able to take care of the issues.

Last night, I fainted while showering. Luckily, I knew I didn't feel right, so I opened the shower door to get out. That's probably the smartest thing I've done in a long time. I fell out of the shower instead of cracking my head on something inside. I did mess up my legs and shoulder though. I'm hopping to walk today, which you can imagine just how awesome I look doing that.

My husband found me right after it happened and got me up. (And babied me for a few hours. Thank you, dear. I owe you one.) After about an hour, I felt normal again.

It was, by far, the most embarrassing moment of my life. It even tops the time I tripped and fell in front of my entire high school. To feel so completely helpless isn't a feeling I'm accustomed to. To be honest, it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.

Why am I telling you this? Because I need to slow down. I have to slow down. I'm only 24. I shouldn't be worried about my health yet. Plus, if I don't slow down, I'm pretty sure my husband will take my laptop and hide it.

Tamed will release on November 4th as planned. After that... I planned to release a book in January and February. Right now, I'm not sure that I'll be able to do that.

Honestly, I know I'll continue to write a lot because I go crazy if I don't. But I'm going to make some time for myself. I need to get back to eating and sleeping. Both of those things are rather important and I've neglected them for far too long.

The only thing I can ask my readers is this - please don't forget me. Please.

You've changed my life. These past two years have been incredible. I've always wanted to write and you've allowed me to do that.

 I love you all more than you know.

Lots of hugs,


  1. An artists mind is so hard to control but you need to take care of yourself. Your fans will be here for you through it all. We can't keep getting amazing books from you if your no longer able to write. Whole your getting healthy we can do rereads or read books for the first time if we haven't already. Take care of yourself, recoup & take your time. Your in my thoughts & prayers

  2. I couldn't forget you. Please take care of yourself first!

  3. Sometimes we put ourselves on the back burner as life is rushing by around us. As a reader I am faithful to my authors that I always read and it doesn't matter how many books they put out. One of my favs only puts out one or two books a year and you can bet I am waiting with anticipation and counting down when the next book comes out. I love your books and no matter what you do I will always be watching for another. Take care of yourself, we will still be here. Enjoy some of the life passing you by. You are young, you don't want to look back and have missed something cause you were always working. If you need it for enjoyment or you feel like your gonna bust if you don't write, then jot it down. No more dead lines. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

  4. You should come first!!! Without you there are no books. Take care of You!! We will be here for you!♡♡♡♡♡♡

  5. We will be here waiting for you. Take care of yourself and we will be looking forward to when you get your books out. Your life & health are so important, and I will keep you in my prayers. xoxoxo

  6. You are the same age as my daughter. I promise you, you can slow down. You write amazing books and they are worth the wait. You need to take care of yourself, thank God you opened that shower door!

  7. I have a favorite author (as most avid readers do I think) but I can't read her always. I would burn out. Just like eating the same food over and over or hearing the same song constantly on repeat.

    I might be excited for a series to have the books released relative close to each other but readers should know the things take time.

    As you said, there are always new books coming but, we know who our favorites are and we will read them when they are released.

    I will go to an author website or FB Page looking for release dates or just reread one of theirs if it will be a bit until the next book.

    Sometimes I will read a book and a small detail in it will remind me of another book that I loved and I will go find it to reread.

    My point is, readers don't forget a writer they love. It sticks with them. Quit stressing and take care of yourself for you and your family. If you're healthy you can put out quality books.

    I am on my phone and too lazy to double check for typos in this tiny little box I have. So... apologies for that. Lol

  8. Take care of yourself, those who are real fans understand and will wait patiently for your books. Listen to your family they are the one's that count. They love & cherish you and know when you are making your self sick before you realize it.

  9. We will never forget you. Take care of yourself. We will be here waiting for you.

  10. Please take care of yourself. You come first and without you health you can't do the things you love like writing. We will be waiting for you when you get healthy again and be able to do the things you love. Good vibes being sent your way.

  11. My heart hurt for you reading this. Please take care of yourself. We are all here and are going to continue to be here for you. Others have already voiced things I'd been thinking so I won't get repetitive. Just take care of yourself and spend sometime enjoying your husband and life and slow it down a bit. You will not be forgotten. I promise.