This is probably one of the hardest blogs I've ever had to write. No, I know it is. I don't do well talking about my personal life, but I think I need to for a moment.
I write. A lot. In the past twelve months, I've released eight books. That's a lot of writing, editing, promoting, and stress. Deadlines creep up and give me a heart attack constantly. Like right now - I have two due at the end of this month. It's the 26th.... I think I overbooked myself, but I'm definitely trying to keep up with them.
My husband, my mom, and my friends constantly tell me to slow down. (I'm giving Tijan and Sophie Monroe the stink eye right now especially.)
The problem? I can't. I need to write. I need to publish. I need to keep up because I'm absolutely terrified that if I step away, my readers might forget me. And that's understandable. There are new authors emerging daily, some quickly replacing old favorites. The book world is a really hard place to be, because sometimes, you feel like you're drowning. You want to stand out. You want your readers to absolutely love everything you write (even though we all know that's impossible.)
I had a really rude wake up call last night. A painful one. When I'm stressed or in writing mode, I don't sleep much, maybe three hours a day if that. I also forget to eat. I'll go well over twenty-four hours on nothing more than a cup of yogurt.
Healthy? Most definitely not.
It seems that I forget to take care of myself most days. It caught up with me once before, last November, when I ended up in an urgent care with stomach cramps so painful that I was sure I was dying. Luckily, I wasn't (obviously) and we were able to take care of the issues.
Last night, I fainted while showering. Luckily, I knew I didn't feel right, so I opened the shower door to get out. That's probably the smartest thing I've done in a long time. I fell out of the shower instead of cracking my head on something inside. I did mess up my legs and shoulder though. I'm hopping to walk today, which you can imagine just how awesome I look doing that.
My husband found me right after it happened and got me up. (And babied me for a few hours. Thank you, dear. I owe you one.) After about an hour, I felt normal again.
It was, by far, the most embarrassing moment of my life. It even tops the time I tripped and fell in front of my entire high school. To feel so completely helpless isn't a feeling I'm accustomed to. To be honest, it scared the ever-loving shit out of me.
Why am I telling you this? Because I need to slow down. I have to slow down. I'm only 24. I shouldn't be worried about my health yet. Plus, if I don't slow down, I'm pretty sure my husband will take my laptop and hide it.
Tamed will release on November 4th as planned. After that... I planned to release a book in January and February. Right now, I'm not sure that I'll be able to do that.
Honestly, I know I'll continue to write a lot because I go crazy if I don't. But I'm going to make some time for myself. I need to get back to eating and sleeping. Both of those things are rather important and I've neglected them for far too long.
The only thing I can ask my readers is this - please don't forget me. Please.
You've changed my life. These past two years have been incredible. I've always wanted to write and you've allowed me to do that.
I love you all more than you know.
Lots of hugs,